


Take a deep breath as well

by hahahaharlequin



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Break Up, Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Gen, Lovers to Friends, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:49:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hahahaharlequin/pseuds/hahahaharlequin
Summary: "I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every day"
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 9





	Take a deep breath as well

Shouyou was coming back to Japan.

He had come to love, and enjoy the way the sunlight would hit his skin during the day, and the warm-turning-cool sand between the toes of his feet whenever he played volleyball on the beach. He’s gotten quite well at speaking Portugese, and-- surprise, surprise-- English, so his Japanese might be a bit rusty now, only he’d get to use it whenever he and Pedro watched some anime, or when Kenma would call to check up on him. 

But now, he was standing at the airport, waiting for his lift back home to Miyagi, where he’d promised his mom and Natsu that he would stay with them until the team would call him to head to HQ.

His lift, he noticed, was standing stark still amongst the crowd of people, waiting for the arrival of their friends, families, and loved ones. Of course, Shouyou shook the idea out of his head, lest he got ahead of himself, but Kageyama had shot up like a bamboo stalk during their third year, and he was almost as tall as Tsukishima when they’d graduated years ago. 

Dragging his luggage behind him, he heads toward Kageyama. Hundreds of thoughts and sentence starters ran through his mind as he did so, the soft squeaking of the soles of his rubber shoes as they slapped against the floors with every step. 

The wheels roll to a stop, just in front of Kageyama. One more step, and he might have just run over his feet. Shouyou chuckles to himself at the thought. 

"How was your flight?" He asked tersely, eyeing Shouyou carefully. He reached for the luggage, which was gratefully rolled towards him.

"It was fine. I was able to catch some sleep, and I have tons of souvenir I brought from Rio, and some I bought from the stopovers." Shouyou replied, holding up an Ikea shopping bag filled with various smaller bags.

Kageyama only nods, and leads them toward the exit. "Did you drive?" Shouyou adds, hoping to fill the awkward silence with casual conversation.

Another nod. 

"Cool," was the last thing Shouyou was able to say, as they had reached the car just as quickly as he had found him. 

They worked together to lift, and fit the luggage in the trunk, slamming it shut when they'd managed it. Shouyou sits up front, cradling the bag of treats and small souvenirs in his lap as he buckled himself in. 

Kageyama had just gotten back onto the main road when Shouyou decided he's had enough of the impregnable silence. 

"How's Miwa-san?" 

Not taking his eyes off the road, Kageyama shrugs a reply, "she's fine. She's coming to watch the game."

Shouyou nods to himself, "That's good," he tells him.

Kageyama hasn't spared him a look, except for when he would catch glimpses, as he checked the mirrors on Shouyou's side. The rest of the drive felt like a heavy blanket of disconcertment was thrown over them.

The sun had begun to set when they come up to a much familiar hill. They'd pass by Karasuno High, too, on the way there, but they agreed on not stopping by, since they would come over tomorrow, anyway. The climb felt different, seeing as he was in a car and not on his bicycle, but the quick left turn just before they'd descended the hill, and nearing towards Shouyou's house was still the same as always.

*******

Finally, Shouyou can see the gate, and their mailbox. Kageyama had expertly maneuvered a parallel park in front of the house, and had turned the engine off. He'd already pulled the keys out of the ignition, but neither of them had started unbuckling their seatbelts. 

They both stared forward, down the same path Shouyou took every day on his way to school. Memories from back then came to Shouyou like waves; slow, gentle ebbs that rocked back and forth in the shores of his mind, reminiscent of the beaches back in Rio de Janeiro. He could almost feel the warm sand under his feet, and inhale the pungent salinity of the waters, until--

The sky had grown darker, and the sun hid itself behind heavy and dense thunder clouds. The small waves were receding, growing into a giant tidal wave. He's only seen it once during his stay in Brazil, and he was lucky he'd been indoors then, and only witnessed it on the television. 

But now, in the recesses of his mind, the wave was about twice Shouyou's height by now, and then. 

_And then,_ it comes crashing down on him, sweeping him off his feet, off the safety of the shores, pulling him into the deep, dark ocean that never seemed to end, even beyond the horizon. 

He held his breath, afraid of drowning.

He reckons, he'd held his breath for so long for almost his whole life, until he met _him._

And by Gods, Shouyou hated him and his guts back then, when he'd first met him, on the other side of the net. His team had lost dramatically, but he knew himself. He knew the feeling of loss, and he was sure, the King of the Court had felt it, too.

*******

It came, and went away like the waves. The first time he'd felt a push, or a pull, from the deep water, was that time he was able to successfully pull off a quick set with Kageyama, this time, on the same side of the court. 

That was the first time, too, that he was able to breathe. 

*******

Now, they sat together in silence inside Kageyama's car, and neither of them wanted to be the first to leave the car-- to show any sign of weakness, or cracks in their well-painted façades. 

But Shouyou was a different man, now. He'd known to step up, and stand for himself, knowing his choice to shift to outdoor volleyball, and fly off to foreign sands was a the biggest power move he's ever pulled, probably just next to _now--_

"Kageyama," he all but whispered, "I know it's difficult, between us, and knowing you, and myself, obviously," he lets himself a snort, just to ease his nerves a bit. He can sense the other's sharp inhale, as if he was holding his breath for whatever Shouyou was planning on saying to follow up.

He turns toward him, and gave Kageyama a small smile. "I love you." 

He'd never said it out loud, never to him, never to his face, so he was just about right about Kageyama's reaction-- head turning so quick, he could almost hear the crack of a whip, and hopefully not his neck-- and gauged his expression, so he knew how to pace himself, and continue. 

Kageyama didn't look as blue anymore. 

"I love you like a brother, like a friend," Shouyou had never felt so many feelings well inside him, and overflow in such words. He'd never counted on himself to take the leap they'd both needed, nor did he expect to actually _land_ after taking the jump.

"But marriage is more than just…" he exhales deeply, trying his hardest not to flounder for his words. If he couldn't do this over the phone, surely he could conquer it in person, right? "It's a bit like partnership, like when we used to play together, on the same team, remember?

You're going to be _great,_ just as you said, as you promised me, promised to show me, but _Tobio--"_

"You too. You'll do great, maybe even more than I will." Kageyama had interjected, almost indignantly, and Shouyou chuckles at the child-like tendencies that made Kageyama himself. 

"Yes," Shouyou nods, "on the same team, we were nigh unstoppable. Imagine what we could achieve, what heights we'll reach, if we took our separate ways, to the top?"

Kageyama had been looking at his face all throughout that last bit, as if he was searching Hinata's face for lies, but when Shouyou stared back, into his eyes, he can only see the love--

The love he's found in Shouyou's eyes, and the honesty in his words, so he sighs, but doesn't look away. He gives him a thin-lipped smile, and a nod. They share one more smile, and then they start unbuckling their seatbelts. 

In the beaches in Shouyou's mind, the waves had lulled, even if he remained submerged; but he was closer than ever to the surface.

*******

Years later, in front of the altar, Shouyou is standing beside Kageyama, who was fumbling with his tie, so he lets himself laugh out loud, as he hurried over to help his finger out of the mess of a knot he's made, and maybe work on a simple enough knot he was capable of. 

Once finished, he pats Kageyama on the chest, as careful as he could, despite his excitement. 

"You can do this, man. Just take a deep breath," he'd told him, coached him through his anxieties, that only spiked as the doors opened, and Tsukishima strode in, face devoid of that smug look he's often sported back when they were in high school, and only fondness as he glanced toward Kageyama, who was standing so stiffly. 

He playfully hit him on the back, once.

Twice.

"Deep breaths, Kageyama. Take a deep breath."

*******

_Finally._

He could breathe. 

**Author's Note:**

> _"(...) I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way."_
> 
> — 39 Ways That I Love You [(from Lemony Snicket's "The Beatrice Letters")](http://www.loris-stories.com/blog/39-ways-that-i-love-you-from-lemony-snickets-the-beatrice-letters)
> 
> Also, heavily inspired by CH. 387 of the manga, [this song](https://open.spotify.com/track/3va6aO5lBXJppO4pwGVWv4?si=x2FzgrwRR_uOuqkat_4o7g), and [this song](https://open.spotify.com/track/1iUIPjgTsqDdq0ESixywgB?si=C-FNAvZ0S1mUR1us9ldKGQ). 
> 
> I think I know where my loyalties lie [shrugs]


End file.
